I just don't understand why I can't eat whatever I want whenever I want and stay the same weight. Well not this weight obviously. I don't want to waddle about in a post holiday giant fatso body for the rest of my life. I want to be svelt and elegant. Well maybe that's a bit ambitious; I'd just like at least some of my clothes to fit me. I had a bank statement and I can't afford new ones. I need to come up with some get rich quick scheme. My brilliant scam of market research backfired on me as my kids now get all the work and I'm left with a bloody sofa company wanting to come round to inspect my non-existent new sofa.
I thought I'd skip dinner and sit down to some nice stomach churning Embarrassing Bodies but no - Mr Smith and the Apprentice came in and turned it over to Fartingly Boring Castles of the Queen. I have discovered why; that bitch cow Fiona Bruce was presenting it. She's the one Mr Smith lusts after - "Oh Fifi". She was wearing a stupid white coat which was so impractical for poking about in dusty dungeon passages - I bet it got dirty. tee hee.
Today I am going to M-C's patchwork class in a desperate bid to sort out my projects that have gone wrong. I bet she just adds to the pile by showing me something new and brilliant that I just have to try. I am so excited - I love learning new things and listening to Mr Smith "Why don't you ever finish anything before you start something new?" Don't know really.
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