I have a slight throat infection but in the night I decided I was definitely suffering from diphtheria, throat cancer, lung cancer and a heart attack. This morning you can add gum disease to that as well due to a little over zealousness with the toothbrush. Anyway, I am dying though Mr Smith says it's nothing a swig of Benylin won't put right in a trice. We don't have any Benylin as he tipped the last dregs down his sore throat for his monstrous cough last week. There was another bottle but it had a date on it not long after the Jurassic Age so I binned that a while ago. Oh how I wish I hadn't. It would have matured by now like a good wine and I could have added vomitting to my list of ailments.
Ebay isn't my best get rich quick scheme ever as you aren't allowed to ebay more than 10 items or make more than £350. I dug out a few old handbags and put them up but when I looked at other, similar, handbags I realised they weren't exactly going to pay my bills or even get any bids at all. I am now looking at car boot sales but the prospect of standing in the rain all day for £50 doesn't fill me with glee. There's Amazon and Gumtree next. Someone must bid for the kids, surely, even if only one of them is vaguely useful. I'm keeping the dog.
Are you absolutely sure I don't have diphtheria?
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