Come on Christmas; I'm all excited. Let's sing a Slade song. Oh do let's not. I'll do Wizard instead. Is Roy Wood still alive? I suppose he must be and very rich too. Listening to the exquisite Military wives on the radio I thought they'd be beautiful angels with those heavenly voices then last night I saw the programme about them - a load of fat tattooed slags really but, Goodness me, isn't Gareth Choirmaster a dish!
Gosh, I can hear Christmas chimes - it's Mr Smith lining up the dirty silver for me to polish. Mrs Smith Mother of Mr Smith is arriving tomorrow; wouldn't she like to clean the silver? Perhaps this is not particularly Christmas spirited of me - I don't know, I've made her do it on so many previous years it's almost a tradition. Do you think she could clean the bathroom and hoover her bedroom too? I'd like a nice afternoon nap in front of some super crappy film. Oh, could she walk the dog as well?
Oh well, I'd better look lively; a man in a bate is getting out the silvo and I'm in a Christmas mood.
P.S. I've just googled Roy Wood and found he supported Status Quo at a concert in the summer. Everyone must have been longing for him to burst into "I wish it could be Christmas every day".... in August.
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