Splash

Here's one of my favourite things to do - swimming in the rain.  It's one of those things you weren't allowed to do when you were young, in case you got wet(?) The water feels so warm compared to the rain and some poor minion at the poolside has to don a cagoule and watch me swim which adds to my enjoyment, especially if he shivers a bit.  Actually, I wasn't going to swim outside in the rain but some fat bastard came and swam in my bit of the indoor pool despite the rest of the pool being free - how antisocial - so I got out and abandoned my boring ups and downs and behaved like a duck in the outdoor pool.  I didn't quack but I did splash a bit as it was only me.  I then had to perform a towel dash and a warm-up in the steam room where Fatty B was sweating away.  I gave him a withering look which soon shifted him.  Actually, it was probably just the sight of fat me (though not as fat as him) with mad hair and chlorine red eyes, rather than the mad stare, that frightened him off.

I am so bored waiting for my vegetables to grow.  Hurry up, I want to eat you. Mr Smith has started equating their cost and has now added the recently acquired water butt bringing the total up to no less than £5 per broad bean (not whole pod but individual bean).  I am going to have to buy heaps of frozen vegetables, empty them into clear plastic bags and pretend throughout the whole winter that we are eating my produce.  He'll never know, especially if I throw in the odd caterpillar.