Riots

Frightened by the riots?  We're scared shitless.  It's time to put the army on the streets and set a curfew.

I have assured Mr Smith there is unlikely to be an uprising in Richmond - it's very posh and lovely there - so he's fine to go to work.  The herds of deer in the park are simply munching grass not forming a gang.  Our two boys are far too lazy to go out rioting and anyway they don't need to steal trainers or mobile phones as they have idiot parents who give them these things.

My friend M-C lives at Clapham Junction where there is apparently an uprising.  Gosh, I hope she is OK.  Clapham Junction is one of those places with a very nice refined bit with a Jamie Oliver cook shop, a little market and lovely boutiques on one side of the road and an enormous council estate on the other.  We all live next to a dodgy neighbourhood in this city, except perhaps my parents or the Queen.

I only think we are preserved in this area of South West London by a scarcity of really rough gangs - though there are some, I can assure you, and a non-existent police presence.  They are more likely to join someone else's riot slightly further afield rather than do over the Co-op.  Having said that, it only takes twenty odd people in a bit of a bate wielding a box of matches and a desire for a new telly with absolutely no visible law enforcement to cause appalling chaos.  Actually, I am frightened.  I fear for our corner shop and our post office.  I also think this could go on for a very long time.  Buds can no longer be nipped - it's gone beyond anyone's control.  Anarchy - a scary word.