Forbidden Fruit

Ash Wednesday and time for our Lenten fast. No more chocolate for us for a while. I thought last night the Apprentice and I might have to hold a chocolate eating contest ramming Boost bars and Twirls down our throats until we were almost sick but instead I decided to hide all our chocolate, including the two big bars of Green & Blacks that Mr Smith acquired yesterday, kind but not helpful. This morning all I can think of is the chocolate calling me from the back of the cupboard. Ooooh a Boost for breakfast - yes please. This just isn't going to work. I am going to have to get someone else to hide the chocolate but I know I will somehow sniff it out. I am not usually that excited by chocolate. Yes I like it, especially superior brands, but I can take it or leave it unless I am depressed and need a teeny fix. Just now I feel at the depths of despair, my chocolateless world just isn't worth inhabiting. I'm sure God wouldn't want me to be this suicidal. Maybe I'll just see how the chocolate is doing in its new home high up all lonely on the top shelf behind the jars of marmelade and chutney. I could read it a story; I could sing it a song; then I could ram it into my big fat gob. NO, this is my Lenten fast. And I will stick to it. Forty days and forty nights.... and I will not have Sundays off or have stupid things like chocolate biscuits and pretend they don't count, because they do. I will be perfect and less spotty, less fat and less craving for chocolate.