Yesterday I went for a walk - a very big walk but not as big as it should have been. I was aiming for ten miles but there was a factory on fire along the Grand Union Canal so I had to give up after 7 miles. It was a very exciting fire with enormous flames and huge billowing smoke. Mr Smith said he could see it from his golf course over ten miles away. I was actually there feeling like a reporter on the job - Mrs Smith coming to you live from outside a burning building in West Drayton... and now back to you in the studio.
I am being paid to carry out a survey of my travel habits over the next 4 days. I am planning on staying in and then writing lies about fictitious trips to shops and friends. I have to estimate the mileage which is a bit tricky. I have found a really fun tool called Google Distance Finder to give me slightly more accurate and less shirty estimates than Mr Smith's "How the hell should I know how far it is from Ealing to Hatton Cross - look it up you stupid woman". It does the whole world so you have to be a bit careful that you put in the right corner shop and not one in Mexico or it will be 5,583 miles to get some milk. Find it at www.daftlogic.com.
Mr Smith is taking me out for lunch; at the boring golf club. I have just found out the cost will be deducted from my golf club card. Good grief, the man's generosity knows no bounds.
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