I was feeling rather smug at people noticing the new improved me (even if they do think I'm a raving slut) when I decided to step on the scales - OH NO. Actually, my weight is perfect ... for a 6ft 2in man who plays lots of rugby, lifts weights and sumo wrestles in his spare time.
In response to those of you seeking pearls of wisdom from Mrs Smith:
Yes, it is fine for your lover to wear your knickers just not at the same time as you. Which reminds me of my friend Sarah who was having a fling with a fireman (at the fire station) and dressed him up in her corset, stockings and suspenders when suddenly he got called out to a fire. I always wondered what they wore under their uniforms.
Yes, the coven meeting is on Wednesday - bring broomstick and don't be late. Shall we ask the vicar to come or shall we talk about him? Who's turn is it for the effigy?
No, dogging does not mean walking your dog. I thought it did too until I asked a man and a woman in a car park.
You can put pennies in the vase to keep them erect but tulips should droop then they come up again and look all wiggly and interesting - thanks Claudia, they're most cheering and have opened up beautifully.
I'm sure they're not that bad - sleeping with your socks on is a bit creepy. You should adopt the attitude of love me, love my toes and she'll Fergie them in no time.
You could do that if you must but you may find you'd need a new carpet and filling in the insurance form could be a bit tricky.
Absolutely not. Mr Smith agrees with me. (Invent your own question here.)
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