I ache a lot these days. I am also horribly fat. The aching makes me reluctant to exercise as it all hurts which in turn makes me sluggish and fatter and more achy. I want to sit in a very squidgy chair or lie in a memory foam bed. I think I will design a foam suit for people who ache. It comes in three thicknesses - comfy, super comfy or vastly cumbersome. The last one is designed for people who don't really want to move at all - like me. Your every moment could be cushioned. I bet I'd still ache. In the meantime I will make an effort to drink more water and do some stretching.
Mr Smith sets me tasks. Today I have to put up his trousers and scrub the shower panels in the boys' (currently dismantled) bathroom. Hang on a minute ... you're here all day why don't you do it? "I'm not good at that sort of thing." Oh what a brilliant excuse from an Olympian shirker. We'll do it together in heavenly marital bliss then I'll show you how to alter your trousers; I'll do one leg then you can do the other. That should be fun.
I imagine I have this wonderful shop called Quiltabella Zigzag. We are not a quilt supplies shop but a shop where you can buy quilts and quilted things. My shop is somewhere prestigious like the Kings Road or Marylebone High Street and we do mail order too. You should see the catalogue - it's amazing. We print all our own fabrics and have all our quilts made in the UK. Of course the shop costs heaps to run and the bank are on my back all the time so maybe I will have to close down which is a shame really because it was such a good idea. Mr Smith looks relieved.
The bread I made yesterday was a bit soggy inside... shame, but room for improvement. Next time I'll buy some from Greggs, pretend I made it and enjoy the raptuous applause.
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