Enough of all that healthy business. Today I sensibly had a bagel for my breakfast; a toasted bagel dripping in butter and strawberry jam. Quite delicious.
Mrs Smith has toothache. Mrs Smith has to go to the dentist .... but not til Tuesday. I have found strong alcohol applied directly to the nervy tooth works a treat. I am working my way through the liqueurs and getting a bit squiffy. I'll need a new liver by Tuesday. Mr Smith tells me to apply oil of cloves and pull myself together. Have you ever tried oil of cloves? It's absolutely ghastly and burns your whole mouth to the point where toothache seems minor. I'll apply a bit of Bon Jovi then go back to the drinks cupboard. La la Living on a Prayer yeah yeah la la la la - do join in... oh sorry, got a bit carried away there.
I have written a list of awful tasks to be performed over the weekend and I am delighted to report I have done three of them already; getting up wasn't actually one of them. I have cleared out our linen cupboard and sent all the old towels to a dogs' home (for extra muddy dogs). Then I did the blanket box which was just like having a birthday it was full of such exciting things I didn't know I had, such as a whole box of mothballs, a packet of plastic squeakers and a sheep outfit. Oh sorry, half a sheep outfit, I wonder where the other half is(?) I found lots of half made things ... oooh goody. This has side tracked me from the tasks on the list. Never mind, I couldn't really be bothered to do them anyway. I'll put on the sheep trousers and do some grazing, knitting and make a few more lavender bags ... that squeak.
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