Bag Lady

The Student appeared for about 5 minutes between parties interrupting my viewing of Ben Hur. Do you know .... nobody actually died in the making of 1959 Ben Hur chariot race? However, in the epic 1926 silent version they dropped like flies; an expected hazard of a stuntman's job back in them days.

I watched Britain's got Talent and to my amazement someone I know was on. I have to admit he is a friend of a friend, a brilliant Irish guitarist and singer who now owns a pub in Sussex. He was favourably received and is through to the next round. Phew.

Today's task is to overhaul the contents of my handbag. My beautiful Louis Vuitton has grown rather heavy of late so time for a cull.
Here's what I found:

Two purses containing no money,
A candle (well it's dark in there),
An oyster card and an old fashioned very tatty driving licence,
A torch in the shape of a cow (still dark),
A pair of knickers that I think are mine,
A glasses case bereft of glasses,
Toothpaste and toothbrush - I've been looking for those,
A brush and comb - but not together,
A tv licence reminder - oh actually, on closer inspection I see it's the actual licence,
A diary - I wondered where that was,
Nine pens and a broken hairslide - I'll mend it and do some writing,
2 Chequebooks containing no cheques;
Car keys - oh that's where they got to,
Alan Titchmarsh's guide: How to build a shed;
and How to plant a hanging basket - I might need one ... in my handbag.
An emergency fiver, A chocolate shop loyalty card,
5 lipsticks - 4 containing lipstick in vile unwearable shades, 1 empty,
Unopenable nail varnish - I've tried,
Camera instructions for camera I don't own nor ever have owned,
Nailfile & tweezers - oh how useful, if only I'd known,
Blackberry instructions but no blackberry,
46 receipts and 8 appointment cards;
A very big paperclip,
And lots of fluff, grit and coins and 3 loose keys for unidentified locks.

And now I will put it all back and look somewhere else for my mobile phone.